My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize