Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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