dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
