Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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