hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
