I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
