The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize
