Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
