He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
there was a trapeze. enough said
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
