so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Randomize
