Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Randomize
