i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
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