Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
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