why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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