ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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