Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
