you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
