I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
