TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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