yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
high people should be assigned attendants
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Who died my cat blue again?
Randomize
