there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
she smelled like a LAN party
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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