Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
