Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
You can't special order awesome
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Randomize
