My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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