girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
