if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
They should really pass out barf bags in church
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
