I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
