just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize
