I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
