So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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