What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Randomize
