Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Randomize