My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
The chlamydia really affected his face.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
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