I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Randomize
