Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
you win again, gameday.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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