Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize