finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
