Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
