i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
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