So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Randomize
