dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
