the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Randomize
