she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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