I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
my nose is crying tears of wow.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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