The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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