dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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