Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
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