Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
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