I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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