But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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