Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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