You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
